Been a tough year.

Probably the toughest one yet.  Lost some things.  Lost some things I wish I didn't have to lose.  Lost some things that I thought were... special in some way.  I suppose.

But that's the way the world works, isn't it?

At least in the scheme of things... I've discovered that I have better friends than I thought.  People that I could talk to.  Discovered some that I can't talk to.  Friends, that in the end, weren't really friends at all.

I think in the end I'm better for it.

Like I said... discovered a friend that I didn't know I had.  Has so far been the best thing to happen to me this year, and I like that I don't feel pressured for once to do anything in particular.  I like that he takes me places.  Shows me new things and doesn't expect anything from me in return, except of course, just my friendship.  I think I've learned some things from him.

Hell... the guy has me drawing again.  I haven't even glanced at a charcoal pencil or piece of paper in months.  It wasn't in me anymore.  I think I officially emotionally died for the first time in my life.  I think that all the times in my life that were hard were nothing compared to what I felt this year.

I don't think anything can top this in scale of things.  For me, at least.  I killed myself this year, in the most metaphorical sense.

But I feel better now.  The pencil feels right again.  I can't even remember missing it.

Hopefully this means I'll manage to post some things again.  Unfortunately, it's only going to be camera images.  But at least it's something.

I think I'll make it.